I'm Looking For Love (On All The Wrong Websites)

Brad Paisley once sang “Cause I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight…every time I log in.” In Paisley’s hit Online, he is referencing the new-age tradition of online dating. We’ve all seen the commercials for eHarmony, Match.com, Cupid.com, or the countless other dating service websites out there. One would expect that, in a world revolving around Web 2.0 technologies, online dating could possibly become more sophisticated.

Sadly, this is not the case. Andrea Bartz and Breana Ehlrich (2011) recently put together an article on why online dating sites do not work for certain individuals. They mention the importance of impressions and how crucial the first message to the person is. Together, Bartz and Ehlrich (2011) compile a list of introductions that are not exactly going to work.

1. The Generalizer

2. The Autobiographer

3. The Eccentric

4. The Robot

5. The Creeper

6. The Gusher

7. The Wordless Wonder

Bartz and Ehlrich make a vital observation. We are in a world where, although we all strive against it, we do not differentiate between interpersonal and technological communication. I would never walk to up to a woman (whom I am attracted to) and sprout out, “Oh my god! You are so gorgeous! You are like the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. If I had to choose between you and Jessica Alba, I would choose you hands-down. I am not kidding. So gorgeous.” Two results may occur form this scenario: First, the woman could slap me across the face and stomp off from embarrassment; second, the woman could kick me and stomp off in embarrassment. We know what not to do in person, but these skills are not following us into the virtual world.

How do we survive online dating? Datingsite suggests playing it cool, calm, and keeping everything COLLECTED. Dating is not meant to be stressful, and yet we are so concerned with “What if she doesn’t match her picture,” we often forget everything else. What is it about this online world that turns our intellectual minds to mush? We need to watch out for dangers on the internet, and these dangers are especially relevant in online dating. As Paisley said, he changes his appearance online.

Bartz and Ehlrich (2011) make a claim that online dating can be unsuccessful for some because of their communication online, while Datingsite is all about tips to date online. With the growth in new new media, online dating can only become more popular (it’s inevitable). With popularity come members, and an increase in dangers. Only time will tell what may happen next in the world of online dating.

References

Bartz, A., and B. Ehlrich. (2011, August 24). Online dating? Why no one wants you. Netiquette. Retrieved from http://www.cnn.com.

Datingsite. (2011, April 13). A guide to online dating sites. Australian Dating Sites. Retrieved from http://www.datingsites.com.au/a-guide-to-online-dating-sites.

Face(book)ing the Truth

As if to no one’s surprise, our world has entered a state of constant communication. Meaning, in short, people are within ten seconds of communicating with anyone on the globe. While twenty years ago, this phenomenon would not have existed, now one touch of the button can connect Japan with Jamaica. Of all the programs out there, one of the most impacting is Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg developed a site that was accepted by millions within years. His technology and idea changed the way we communicate across towns, states, countries, and continents. With all these benefits, could there possibly be a downfall?

We must now accept that an addiction has formulated when it comes to access to Facebook. Social media and new new media has updated our status and provided us the capability of always sharing what’s on our minds. Yes, this is a great tool to stay connected, but when does Facebook information become the primary source of news. Let me explain by looking at three prime examples:

Good news or staying in contact. For me, I am using Facebook a lot more in these past weeks to stay in contact with some friends I made this summer in Medora, ND. I made friends that I never want to forget, and as a result, we are already making plans for next summer. Of course, these plans are Facebook originated. Isn’t that what this site is for? Well, most would say Facebook is designed to maintain contact during or after school; so, technically, I am living up to this standard. Consider this site as to what Facebook is now being used for. All the material and links posted now, are they used to maintain contact?

Sad news or updates. How many times do we discover someone’s relationship change via their status? For me, a prime example occurred last night (8/23/11). Valley City was bustling with information about an alleged shooter. How did I find out who it was? Facebook. Of course, the suspect is a former high school classmate of mine, and all my Facebook friends are discussing the details that he said/she said. Is this living up to the expectation of Facebook? For me, it feels a bit more like gossip in an easier-to-access form.

Memories or moments. Going off my first area, Facebook has become a popular tool for photographs and videos. I remember uploading 100+ pictures of my trip to Mt. Rushmore this summer. They are not really posted for anyone’s pleasure but my own, but I still felt the need to post them. How about instantaneous posts: something that happens at 9:00pm and is posted by 10:30pm? And yes, I am referring to the infamous Bye, Bye, Bye dance number for Sunday evening. Haven’t seen it…check out my Facebook.

Yes, I will agree, Facebook (and other Social Media Sites) is a valuable tool in our ever-changing world, but at what point has it gone too far. Is there such a point? Who knows?