Brad Paisley once sang “Cause I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight…every time I log in.” 
In Paisley’s hit Online, he is referencing the new-age tradition of online dating. We’ve all seen the commercials for eHarmony, Match.com, Cupid.com, or the countless other dating service websites out there. One would expect that, in a world revolving around Web 2.0 technologies, online dating could possibly become more sophisticated.
Sadly, this is not the case. Andrea Bartz and Breana Ehlrich (2011) recently put together an article on why online dating sites do not work for certain individuals. They mention the importance of impressions and how crucial the first message to the person is. Together, Bartz and Ehlrich (2011) compile a list of introductions that are not exactly going to work.
1. The Generalizer
2. The Autobiographer
3. The Eccentric
4. The Robot
5. The Creeper
6. The Gusher
7. The Wordless Wonder
Bartz and Ehlrich make a vital observation. We are in a world where, although we all strive against it, we do not differentiate between interpersonal and technological communication. I would never walk to up to a woman (whom I am attracted to) and sprout out, “Oh my god! You are so gorgeous! You are like the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. If I had to choose between you and Jessica Alba, I would choose you hands-down. I am not kidding. So gorgeous.” Two results may occur form this scenario: First, the woman could slap me across the face and stomp off from embarrassment; second, the woman could kick me and stomp off in embarrassment. We know what not to do in person, but these skills are not following us into the virtual world.
How do we survive online dating? Datingsite suggests playing it cool, calm, and keeping everything COLLECTED. Dating is not meant to be stressful, and yet we are so concerned with “What if she doesn’t match her picture,” we often forget everything else. What is it about this online world that turns our intellectual minds to mush? We need to watch out for dangers on the internet, and these dangers are especially relevant in online dating. As Paisley said, he changes his appearance online.
Bartz and Ehlrich (2011) make a claim that online dating can be unsuccessful for some because of their communication online, while Datingsite is all about tips to date online. With the growth in new new media, online dating can only become more popular (it’s inevitable). With popularity come members, and an increase in dangers. Only time will tell what may happen next in the world of online dating.
References
Bartz, A., and B. Ehlrich. (2011, August 24). Online dating? Why no one wants you. Netiquette. Retrieved from http://www.cnn.com.
Datingsite. (2011, April 13). A guide to online dating sites. Australian Dating Sites. Retrieved from http://www.datingsites.com.au/a-guide-to-online-dating-sites.
Kyle,
ReplyDeleteOnline dating is a huge venue. Advertisements are posted constantly about this topic. You presented this information well and logically. I agree that meeting someone personally needs to be part of the equation. People do "look good" on paper, but there is also the component of chemistry to any relationship. This chemistry is not available in our current technology. With the advancement of technology though, it is smart to consider the dangers of this venue. Very hot topic you discussed.
Valerie
When I see commercials for online dating companies, I often wonder how many relationships fail because it is online. I know they always show the successful couples, but there is probably a lot more that didn't make it to far because it wasn't face to face and they lacked that certain connection because they didn't meet in person.
ReplyDeleteOnline dating does not work for two reasons. One, people are not meant to interact online. We weren’t created to interpret online interactions. You will probably never truly know who or what a person is really like until you meet them in person. Facial expressions and body language all play a part in figuring someone out. Two, everything is more personable F2F (face to face). The way we touch somebody or the way we act around someone in person removes all questions. We either like the way things are going down or we don’t. Online dating leaves too much to guess about which ultimately makes it terribly hard to find someone online. Well, too much of my opinion. Interesting blog post Kyle and once again great job! I continue to enjoy your posts!
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